Heroes and Villians

With one week left in the MLB season, I’d like to acknowledge two different groups of players:

Villians:

Richie Sexson: When I thought I was buying low on you, I didn’t realize that I was buying high.

Chad Tracy: You’re the Lucy to my Charlie Brown. “Seriously, this time he’s really gonna break out and I’ll make a laughing stock of the league.” ARRRGH!

Nick Punto: OK, OK, OK. I knew you’re weren’t going to hit .290 again. Or .280. Or .270. I seriously would have been happy with .250. But honestly, .210? “I’ll take Team Batting Average Destroyers for 100, Alex.”

Rondell White: My bad.

Andy Marte: “Now batting clean up in the AAAA All-Star Game…”

Cliff Lee: His name is Cliff, as in “His fantasy value fell off of a…”

My new fantasy heroes:

Fausto Carmona: Sounds like an associate of Tony Soprano, mows down hitters like he is.

Ian Kinsler: A poor man’s Chase Utley.

Erik Bedard: How do I love thee? Let me count the K’s…221 to be exact.

C.C. Sabathia: Should change his initials to C.Y. Sabathia, as in Cy Young.

Alan Embree: I think I read that Embree is French for “Saves shot in the arm”

Magglio Ordonez: It’s gotta be the hair!